Lead me not into dot dot dot

I have read many articles and books on leadership and many of them have helped me over the years in my journey, but a question always creeps up -“is leadership inherited or learnt?” or rather, “are Leaders born or are they made?” Many have debated and attempted to answer this question and I for one am not about to attempt to answer this question but I would like to play with some thought patterns I once had.  As a lover of Psychology, human behaviour fascinates me and through working with people from different background and observing their behaviour, I sometimes wonder if perhaps it’s our development stages that have the most impact on what type of leaders we become? If at all we become leaders, could this be the reason why some people seem to lead easier and become more successful than others faster? Could an individual’s upbringing and environment possibly have anything to do with shaping their character and traits such as confidence and reasoning capabilities? 

There is a quote by John B Watson , a psychologist who established the psychological school of behaviourism from his book Behaviourism, he said “Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I'll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select -- doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief and, yes, even beggar-man and thief, regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations, and race of his ancestors.”  Normally this quote is often quoted out of context and the last part of the sentence omitted which goes something like: “I am going beyond my facts and I admit it, but so have the advocates of the contrary and they have been doing it for many thousands of years.” Again I want to remind you that I was not attempting to answer this worldly debated question, but according to Watson, Learning (and therefore behaviour and personality) occurs through interactions between the individual & the environment. That people are born with a blank slate and develop their personalities through what happens to them.

I do believe however that whether a born Leader or not, each and every one of us has a responsibility towards self to become a great leader of self before becoming a leader of others.  It is quite amusing how I meet people who want to be in a position of leadership (and others who are already there) but have no clue on how to manage and lead their own lives.  How you deal with things around you is a sure reflection of how you deal with yourself.  If you mismanage yourself, you will end up mismanaging everything else around you.  There is a scripture in the Bible in the book of Proverbs 25:28 (NKJV) “Whoever has no rule over his OWN spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.”

Often people get stuck in the trap of mediocrity, a life where you just live without a mandate or purpose and you go about living with crossed fingers hoping that things will work out just fine. People should always be in a position to yearn for more out of life.  Mediocrity is accepting the below average standard, it is agreeing to what you are told to become without questioning and challenging, it is agreeing to allowing a situation to dictate the type of life you should be living.  The minute one understands that the past, unhealthy backgrounds and environment should not dictate your present and future, although they have had a big chunk of influence in how you are programmed, that’s the minute you are able to have complete control over your attitude and reaction towards life, it’s the minute you are able to counter the programme that has been operating in your life all along.

I have had the privilege of meeting some really successful and influential people in the world, those that others see as leaders, and those who are leaders in their own right.  Some I have met personally, some on social networks and some through books and media platforms.  It is evident that there is something which sets these people apart from the normal individual.  They don’t go wherever the music leads them; in fact, they create the beats which give life and flavour to the music.  So let me quickly explore and share some of these habits, traits, behaviours etc… that I have noted to be quite common in these amazing people.

Time and time again, we have been told if you believe it, you can have it, if you perceive it, it’s yours.  I am a believer of this philosophy, so much so that I have a 10 year autobiography of myself which I read often; I have positive confessions written all around me because I believe what I constantly meditate on will determine again, my attitude and reaction towards life.  Most believe in this and have coined this positive attitude but I find that most people just end there; but in reality it doesn’t end there at all. It is not enough to just believe and confess.  The Bible says that faith without works is dead, you have to align your actions with the faith that you possess.  I cannot constantly confess a leaner healthier me while eating fatty fast foods and chocolate daily.  I can stand on the mountain top and shout every morning “I am leaner and healthier” but because what I want to become and my actions are not congruent, I will never achieve my confessions without putting in the work.

So as much as confessions are fabulous, you need to back it up with work.  You cannot achieve that Cum Laude without putting in the hours.  You cannot build a successful business if all you do is sleep and play on your smart phone. These amazing people work for their keep and they can back it up.

These amazing people understand that for them to make it through each day, they have to wake up, show up and work up.  They have resolved it in their minds what it is they really want out of life and they have understood and accepted that it will take a lot of work to achieve everything they set out for themselves.  Often people make excuses for their laziness.  They will owe their failures to attaining what they set out to achieve to hard times, to the government, to factors around them but at the end of the day, it is just plain laziness and the unwillingness to put in the work.  I find that when I do not do well on a paper or exam, it’s easier for me to blame it on the lecture or my brain capacity whereas truthfully, if I do an introspection, I often find that I was just too lazy to put in the required effort to do well in that paper or exam. 

So you have to define what you want out of this life, find the balance and what will work for you in order to manage your life effectively.  The following virtues are the things which I have discovered works for me in my life in order to be an amazing Leader to myself. 

Keeping spiritually fit

I recognise that I am a spiritual being and that how I take care of my spiritual being often overflows on the external being.  I wake up early every morning and give myself at least an hour head start in my day.  In this hour, I have what I call my “power hour” – this is the hour I use to connect to my God, to read the Bible, journal, pray and meditate.  This helps me focus and stimulates me to literally CONQUER each day.  It also helps me remain diligent and consistent in my dealings each day. I believe that God is my Creator and that He is my Source and therefore I will constantly lean on Him for nourishment each and every second of my life.

Authenticity

I have learnt over time that the best person to be in this walk of life is to be myself.  I cannot live another’s life or present a picture of what I am expected to be.  Walking in truth is very important.  I understand that I have weaknesses and flaws.  I allow Grace to help me work those flaws to become a better person.  I do not hide those flaws, for if I hide them, they will catch up with me and when that happens, I am in serious danger of compromising my integrity as a human being. Being Authentic as a philosophy is being true to your own personality, spirit, character despite what is happening around you.

Humility

I constantly pray and yearn to walk in humility always.  Society has built a life around titles and achievements.  If you do not have this around you, it seems your value as a person decreases.  The art of being humble has nothing to do with being timid or modest.  It is actually the highest attribute of a leader.  Humility is virtue, appreciating that you are a gift to earth and that you will use that gift to serve others neither for praise nor headlines but because you genuinely appreciate them and their worth.  Pride will lead to the fall but humility will keep you grounded. I believe when you are humble, you are able to look within self, understand self and are open to deal with your weaknesses and flaws.

A vision without a plan is a hopeless wish

While having vision for your life is great, if you do not have a blueprint on how to execute that plan, then you are just dreaming.  Architects see their structures in their head before producing the blue print.  Designers see their garments before drawing them down.  This assists in getting the final product ready because without knowing what you are trying to achieve, taking the steps to achieve “whatever” will lead to a fumble.  This is true for people who capture the day without any solid hope or plan.  They go with the wind, they live to be surprised.  Although this is fabulous and adventurous, it is not sustainable.  This is why vision and action boards are fun things to do.

Excellence

Most people who know me know that I hate mediocrity.  I hate being normal and I don’t subscribe to the status quo.  “Just nje” is JUST not good enough (I have no explanation for just nje, but it is literally translated to “Oh well”).  We need to aspire for excellence in everything we do.  Everyone can be normal and do the average, but it takes excellence to set you apart.  Excellence is attained through habit building (practise makes perfect) “We are what we repeatedly do” – Aristotle.  Excellence is attained through smart work, lots of reading and education (formal and informal)

These are virtues which I constantly work on in my life which renders me a better Leader to myself. I find when I can lead myself effectively, then I can lead others effectively too.