Not today

For the longest time, chocolate has been a huge problem in my life.  When I say huge, I mean an extreme catastrophe.  I would usually eat a slab a day, until the day I stopped riding my motorbike.  The withdrawals were so unbearable that I had to find a replacement and chocolate was it, the dosage moved from one slab to three slabs.  I credit all my extreme weight gain to chocolate alone.  I am not a huge fan of food so chocolate impacted my health in a huge way.  Whenever I stopped eating chocolate, the difference in my weight was noticeable in a week.  I fasted, prayed, meditated.  I tried everything to get rid of this stronghold and it clung on like dried cement.  I needed to find a way out fast. 

I was convinced that I was an addict.  Then I went out with a friend for dinner, as usual, she always orders my favourite cake for dessert (one of those ladies who never gain weight – so jealous).  She asked if I was not going to have any cake, I told her that “TODAY I am not up for cake”, she laughed and said, “I bet you will be up for it tomorrow”, the minute she said that, a waterfall moment happened to me.  That was it, the problem was that I was trying to give up chocolate forever, and that overwhelmed my mind, my mind could not understand how it would stay away from chocolate forever.  Every time I would go for a month without having chocolate, my mind would freak out and I would find myself justifying why it’s okay for me to consume this chocolate, once I consumed that slab, then it would be downhill from there, starting from ground zero.  So I have resolved that I have not given up eating chocolates, I am just not in the mood to eat it TODAY, maybe tomorrow, but NOT TODAY.  

I told this to my Mentor, and he called me a smart girl because that is how he stopped smoking, and apparently it’s a method applied by many support groups.  I was quite chuffed with myself really.  I have not had any chocolate because I am not feeling it today, maybe tomorrow, NOT TODAY though.  

I am not sure if this method would work for any addiction, but I guess it works for many other things that we face in life.  If we took some things one day at a time, I guess they would be easier to deal with than to try and overwhelm ourselves by over thinking the possibility of the problem being with us forever.

I am on a journey to get my blazing hot Body back and I mean it this time.  Honestly, I do.