Genuises - no ordinary beings

There are very few people I obsess over in life, and as shallow as that may sound, those people are usually the super extra-ordinary humans. It always intrigues me how certain people manage to live beyond expectations and the rest just live average lives if not below.

I have recently discovered a young man that goes by the name of Siyabulela Xuza.  He was a guest speaker at an event I recently attended.  When he got on stage, he looked like any ordinary young man. He had a noticeable orange tie on and an awesome stage presence.  He spoke very well and knew how to capture the attention of his audience.  While giving his presentation, I overheard someone mumble about how Siya was bragging about his life.  I got extremely bothered by that remark. This in some way showed that we live in a society where some people are so used to playing small that they expect those who achieve way beyond comprehension should apologise for their feats.  What is wrong with a person who is trying to inspire others through their experiences?  I truly believe that Siya’s story was so relevant to everyone that was present at the event given the fact that he was addressing learners who had just matriculated with A symbols in Maths and Science. He epitomises global excellence; something each and every one of us should aim to achieve.  Siya is a young Afrikan innovator who began a project on rocket fuel and this project exposed him to the world. As a result of his innovative mind, he got invited to the 2006 Nobel Prize ceremonies ( I don’t think he had completed his matric yet), received many accolades and even got a minor planet named after him.  He graduated from Harvard School of Engineering and Applied Science where he pioneered micro-fuel cells for mobile energy.  He has since returned to South Africa with a passion for developing solutions for the energy industry.  This is just a sneak preview on this man; should you need to read up more on him, please follow him on twitter @siyaxuza.

Something extremely profound stood out for me as he was giving his presentation.  He mentioned that while growing up in Mthatha in the Eastern Cape, he used to experiment a lot with household products. He used his mom’s kitchen as a lab which often got him into trouble.  His mother understood his love for Science so she provided a corner somewhere in the yard where Siya could experiment more.  Siya told a story of how his grandfather was a Science teacher and this also contributed to his love for Science.  

I particularly grew up with a fixing hand.  When I was a young girl; I would fix and try to figure out everything in the house.  My parents knew that if there was a new gadget bought, Malebo would be the one who would try and figure it out.  I was obsessed with cars and electric appliances but pity no one noticed this talent close enough to do anything about it and so it faded with time.  This might explain why I can sit for hours on end figuring out how to build a website. I can sew clothes and do many other things with my hands.  I perhaps need to start taking myself seriously and develop these hands of mine.  
 A few months ago I noticed my best friend’s son's love for dismantling things and putting them back together. I took on to challenge him with a TV remote. I dismantled it (askies Shwe, that was me) and I asked him to fix it for me. In no less than 5 minutes, he had figured out how to put it together.  I kept on noticing other small things as well and advised my friend to pay close attention to his gift and develop it while he is still young.

This brings me to my gripe; how many kids are wandering out there with super amazing gifts but no one pays close enough attention to notice?  Some of this curiosity from kids is dismissed as childhood tjatjaraagness (right at this moment, I am failing to find the proper word for this, but I trust you get my point). Please do not get me wrong, I was using Science just as an example, there are many areas which this piece refers to as well, I singled out Science for the sake of the gripe I had.  

Afrika is truly filled with untapped potential beyond our imagination.  Civilisation and innovation did after all begin in Afrika and we are a part of that heritage.  Are we as adults aware of the smallest behavioural patterns possessed by children?  Entrepreneurship is a huge answer to our continent's woes and the more we tap into our creative space, the better it will be for our livelihood and those who are to follow generations later.

@malebosays

#DearBlackMan - Voices of Women who love you ...

A couple of us took the time out to celebrate and honour you, to tell you what it is that we love about you.  To express our gratitude to you, Black Man who does not define the stigma that haunts us about the Black Man.

Our messages to you

#DearBlackMan

I know that often than not, we tend to focus on what you are doing wrong, I'm about none of that today. I know that a whole lot of you do your best, I honestly think so. Big Up to you, who is not perpetuating the stigma that follows Black men all over.  

Your women love you. Thank you for telling me that I look better wearing my natural hair than I do in my weave. You have definitely stopped the cycle. I have seen how much you love your seed; the fact that you would do anything for your seed melts me to pieces.

Your ability to raise another man's child as your own unconditionally warms my heart. You are indeed amazing

Love - @malebosays

#DearBlackMan

I am yet to meet a finer gentleman who treats women with more honour than you when you are at your best self.

I admire the way you rise daily to present your best self to a world that doubts you at first sight. You work 7 times harder to prove that your integrity is intact when others first have to break trust before their integrity is ever questioned. Black man you are my hero. You are dear. Don't you ever forget that. This is how my poem will begin or end. You have written us so many poems. I think it's time the sisters paid you a tribute too and not punish you for your brothers’ sins and remind you of your father's failures.

 

Wow! I was just thinking of the depth of the black man's warmth! His lingering compassion that has touched me so many times regardless of age. His care that is so effortless and motherly at times that is all embracing without appearing feminine at all. Black man!! You are God's creature.

I am sorry for the killer side look I often give you that stops you right in your tracks. I'm sorry for refusing your help because I had already decided what you were about. I forgive you for the wrongs you have caused me. Truth is, others have done me more wrong just indirectly. While I am at it - I forgive them too.  Let me say this. You are NOT the problem. You are not what is wrong with the world.  I love the way you dress. The way you care about how you are dressed. I love the way you polish your shoes, the way you are so selective about your shoes. I love the way you love the way you walk. You're such a show off. You are a beaut.  How many times have you affirmed me when I had long left my mirror unsure about how I looked? How many times have I pretended that I did not hear you compliment me? The truth is you have reassured me and affirmed me more than you would ever know. Thank you.

When you are a father.... I love how you assume your fatherhood position everywhere without asking for permission. I love how you father everyone everywhere you go. I love how you are a father to the fatherless. How you adopt as many children as will accept you. How you solve so many problems of other children and homes not your own as though they were simply because you understand that you are a father. I love how you never ever say "those are not my children."
There are so few of you and yet you do what you do for so many as though it were your responsibility. Thank you for the brief encounters sometimes in taxis. How you take opportunities to pass on your wisdom, to guide, to encourage, to affirm. Yet there are so few of you. There aren't enough fathers. The revolution has begun! This year I felt it was the year of the young black man. I saw young black men rising out of townships and rural areas. I saw them dusting themselves off every bad association to become their most excellent selves after God's design. This is it!!!! The rise of the black sons.

Love Sikelelwa Siki-First Dlanga

#DearBLackMan

Dear black man, seriously you are uniquely made, your structure is so present, your shoulders so broad, your head upright, the confidence that was instilled at birth and the affirmation that you received as a young man shouts from afar. When you know this about yourself and you enter a room, everybody stares because black man you are such a man, you truly…. are… a…. man.

Love Ayanda Pekane

#DearBlackMan

Your drive fascinates me. Your willingness to bleed and sweat just so that your loved ones are comfortable enhances in me a breath of unlimited crisp assurance. You ooze of strength and potential. You radiate God. Your bold reaction to protect and defend the vulnerable is attractive and encouraging. You Black Man are able.

Love Refiloe Sandra Maphuti Maphoto

#DearBlackMan

Today I take this opportunity to say Thank You as you do not get many "thanks" on a daily basis as we are always too quick to judge you on the mistakes you make but very slow to applaud you when you do well.

Not many realise your hard work, the pain you go through everyday searching hard for a job just to put food on the table and a smile on your children's faces and when you don't you get cursed at and hated for not being able to provide for your family forgetting the fact that you did try to make ends meet. You are a good black man indeed.

You always walking around with the world on your shoulders and we never see how heavy your burden is. All we ever do is add more problems to the burden that you carry. Today I want you to remember this: Whenever your burden is too heavy for you to carry, you can pass it here and ill help you carry it. No matter the situation you can always lean on me. It’s okay to ask for help if you struggle.

Love Adelaide Adalady January

#DearBlackMan

Today as I celebrate you, I want to thank you for insisting to help me carry those heavy bags even when I said "no thanx i got this". As from today, I am not going to "think like a man" I am going to think like a lady..... I’m not competing with you. I’ll let u b the man that God created you to be. I love you even more to ever think that you would go far, far away from home in the middle of nowhere and work underground just to keep the wolf away from the door!

Love Sima Morgan-kaVilakazi

#DearBlackMan

You are enough. You are important and I need you. You are wonderful, you are special, you are chosen, and you have a purpose. Do not give up, keep going I believe in you because you are just that awesome. I see your efforts and I appreciate them. The way you look at me mmmhhh Black Man, I see that, How you always jump to my defence; how you have always protected me I see that too #Blackman. You are awesome and I need you just as you are my #Blackman

I am sorry I never took time to understand you because of all that I heard of you from this universe, what the women in my house said about you, what the woman next door babbled about you, the lady at church, the teacher at school, the women at the shops chatted about you, the noise that the women at the bus stop made about you, the lecture at varsity, the friends I have grown to love, my female colleagues, the girl next door the writes and speakers. The way the universe conveyed you blinded and robbed me from learning and understanding you my Blackman. Sorry I made up my mind about you before I met you. #Blackman you are enough.

I love how you take care of your own. How you put your priorities straight. Your loyalty to yours is amazing. They appreciate it. You are not enough merely because you are successful, your noticeable drive and hard work, your courage to stand when the winds are not blowing your way but to a different direction inspires me. How you go out of your way to make ends meet and provide for yours. You are an enough BlackMan from an enough God. This Universe is blessed to have you; I am honoured to have met you. Ke rata the way o phushago passion ka gona.

 

I appreciate how you love my curves and my full figure despite what the magazines portray as beautiful. I appreciate how you give up your seat for me, how you hold the gate for me.  I appreciate how you always offer to help, how you respect me and wa ncharma with the sweet names you call me be it outside the supermarkets or at the robots, You are just ENOUGH! Ke rata ge o mpitsa "Ba ka bogoshing, Mmakgoshi" ooh Blackman bathong! I appreciate how you always let me go first, how you let me skip a long queue , hahahaha, Oh and yeah the other day, you let me have the last loaf of bread at the shelf.

I respect how you respect your God, how you commit yourself to His work. I respect how you lead, I respect your dreams, I respect your willingness to grow, I respect how you honour your mother, I respect how you pray for us, I respect how you do good things for us, and I respect how understanding you are and how you teach me to love you. BlackMan you are my best friend. The way you love the mother of your kids humbles me.

Love Shokky Chiloane

#DearBlackMan

You carry yourself with pride and honour your father’s wishes... You dress to impress and respect yourself. Thank you for raising your children and not turning your back to them.... Thank you black man.  Thank you for going the extra mile and taking care of children who are not your own. 

Love Terry Khoza

Not today

For the longest time, chocolate has been a huge problem in my life.  When I say huge, I mean an extreme catastrophe.  I would usually eat a slab a day, until the day I stopped riding my motorbike.  The withdrawals were so unbearable that I had to find a replacement and chocolate was it, the dosage moved from one slab to three slabs.  I credit all my extreme weight gain to chocolate alone.  I am not a huge fan of food so chocolate impacted my health in a huge way.  Whenever I stopped eating chocolate, the difference in my weight was noticeable in a week.  I fasted, prayed, meditated.  I tried everything to get rid of this stronghold and it clung on like dried cement.  I needed to find a way out fast. 

I was convinced that I was an addict.  Then I went out with a friend for dinner, as usual, she always orders my favourite cake for dessert (one of those ladies who never gain weight – so jealous).  She asked if I was not going to have any cake, I told her that “TODAY I am not up for cake”, she laughed and said, “I bet you will be up for it tomorrow”, the minute she said that, a waterfall moment happened to me.  That was it, the problem was that I was trying to give up chocolate forever, and that overwhelmed my mind, my mind could not understand how it would stay away from chocolate forever.  Every time I would go for a month without having chocolate, my mind would freak out and I would find myself justifying why it’s okay for me to consume this chocolate, once I consumed that slab, then it would be downhill from there, starting from ground zero.  So I have resolved that I have not given up eating chocolates, I am just not in the mood to eat it TODAY, maybe tomorrow, but NOT TODAY.  

I told this to my Mentor, and he called me a smart girl because that is how he stopped smoking, and apparently it’s a method applied by many support groups.  I was quite chuffed with myself really.  I have not had any chocolate because I am not feeling it today, maybe tomorrow, NOT TODAY though.  

I am not sure if this method would work for any addiction, but I guess it works for many other things that we face in life.  If we took some things one day at a time, I guess they would be easier to deal with than to try and overwhelm ourselves by over thinking the possibility of the problem being with us forever.

I am on a journey to get my blazing hot Body back and I mean it this time.  Honestly, I do.

Just do it

If there is anyone who obsesses on planning and strategising, thinking things through before implementing, it is me.  Although it is good to analyse and think things through, we must be wise enough to know when to draw the line.  Being the perfectionist I am, in the past, I used to self-sabotage myself by over-thinking to a point that I would withdraw from doing something only because I was afraid of failure.  I would come up with every excuse possible why I could not implement what was meant to be, just so that I did not have to deal with the failure.

There is a scripture in the Bible which addresses three lepers who asked a very important question: ‘why sit here until we die’.  Many people are just comfortable with over-thinking and over planning up to a point where you never see the fruits of their thoughts.  Some go around from church to church, from conference to conference collecting inspiration and challenges but have no bone to act. 

The cowardice stops here.

Quickly run to the mirror, look at yourself and repeat after me ‘Just do it’