The tall order

It’s very interesting how diverse we are as people. Our Spirit is carved in the image of God yes but physically it is another story. We do not believe enough in our magic. I have shared about many of my issues before. Today I want to talk about something else that I lived with for a very long time. Although not everyone will relate to the specific issue at hand but I am sure that you will relate with some aspects of the issue.
In the midst of me having all those horrible self-image issues, I discovered something in 2006, that I was taller than my peers. I know that sounds weird, like who doesn’t see that they are tall while growing up? I am almost prompted to go and check all my old albums to see if I was really taller than those around me pre-2006.
I started having issues with my height and became really conscious about it. It seemed like South Africans were really short. I have had the opportunity of living in Europe and USA and I don’t remember being seen as tall, most girls were my height and men taller than me. While in SA, most girls were way shorter than me and most men were either my height or just a little bit shorter. Man oh man did this become a problem.
This birthed a serious problem. I remember attending a company ball with a friend and I bought the weirdest shortest heels just so that he does not seem shorter than me. Another incident was at my sister’s wedding, he he he, I had a smashing outfit but the shoes were another story. Can you imagine?
Then came the era where shoes were the in thing and folks were wearing 14cm and 16 cm.  I wore weird shoes, not out of choice, but because I just couldn’t stand being taller than everyone else. It was so bad that sometimes I would not attend events where I thought cute boys would be attending because they would be like “Gosh she’s so pretty but soooo tall.” Can I be real here? It even got to a point where I googled, wait for it: “How to get shorter”, self-image issues can be a serious bummer you know. But just for the record, I found some interesting answers, like you should drink coffee mixed with green tea while crouching or something like that. I am not laughing.
I had to go through a journey that would make me look at myself and accept me for me. Being tall is not a mistake, not an errort. You see, unlike being overweight, you can’t do anything about your height, you can’t do anything about your big head, your forehead, your ears, mmm, ok, maybe you can visit the plastic surgeon for your ears but you get my point.
I honestly believe that your journey attracts your teachers and healers. God sent different people in my life to remind me that my height, although I think is the worst feature about me, might actually be the best thing for me. The first person was a very tall hot gentleman, he is almost 1.9 and I can imagine that being tall is a really good thing for a man; he said these lines that I will never forget. “You see Malebo, doing what you are doing, you are privileged to be tall, because when you walk inside a room filled with people, you get easily noticed and you command a lot of respect as height brings a sense of authority with it. “ Wow, I had never really looked at it like that.Then I met 2 ladies who were just as tall as I am and one just a bit taller. Now these ladies rock 16 cm like a charm and they look fabulous. They really challenged me, I briefly interviewed them about their height and they literally set me free.

Then I met an amazing soul who reminded that I am wonderfully and fearfully made. She is not a size 0 but her confidence would outdo any supermodel any day. She reminded me to love myself wholly, her fashion sense and her shoes ignited something within me, I would look at her shoes and look at mine and then I realised change needs to happen.
Deliverance does not need lighting and drama, I believe deliverance is coming to a point of understanding and knowing the truth to set you free, the deliverance is determined by what you do with that truth. I was delivered from the horrid lie that I am weird because I am tall.
As if God was done with me, the moment I received this deliverance, I looked at all my shoes and prayed for new rocking shoes and low and behold, 2 shops had the craziest sales for those 2 weeks and I got me about 10 pairs of the most fabulous 12 cm shoes, they are not quite 14cm but hey, I got to start somewhere right?
I have really fallen in love with my height and I do not apologise for it. I have found that
• Most girls want to be tall
• I can be a model if I want to be
• I have fabulous long legs and they look awesome when I’m rocking a heel
• I carry weight well because of my height
• Humans are getting taller with each generation, so I am a trailblazer in this regard
• I don’t have to lower my superbike
• Clothes fit better, national and international brands
I attended a book launch one day and met one of the most beautiful South African celebrities and to my amazement, she was about 4 cm taller than me and she was unapologetically rocking 16 cm heels and she looked fabulous. This made me curious so I did some research on some celebrity heights, couldn’t quite get the heights of South African celebrities but the Hollywood celebrity heights are easily accessible via google. So here goes:
• Malebo Gololo – 1.7
• Terry Pheto – 1.68
• Michelle Obama – 1.80
• Nelson Mandela – 1.93
• Idris Elba(my ultimate crush) – 1.90
• Naomi Campbell – 1.77
• Angelina Jolie – 1.70
• Beyonce Knowles – 1.68
• Venice Williams – 1.85
• Oprah Winfrey – 1.70
 *Khomotjo Mphahlele-1.76

I don’t know why, but this also brought some sort of peace to my height conflict. Wow, you just don’t understand how much I am in love with myself right now. Inside and out, this has helped me to appreciate all the other issues I had about my physical appearance, like for example, my knock knees or my wonderful wide flat nose. These are the unique physical features that make Malebo Gorgeousity Defined. Oscar Wilde said “To love ONESELF is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
So I hope while you are reading this, you will find some encouragement from this. You might be struggling with the fact that you are short, or that your forehead is too big or that your toes lock. Whatever it is, learn to love it and understand that you are not a mistake. I attended a comedy show by Ditsebe.com and he was making fun of his ears, do you think he would be ditsebe.com today without those ears?

What does it mean to be Afrikan?

While growing up – TV was my friend and what this friend taught me was that being Afrikan was some sort of a curse. I would wish and fantasise about eating a bit of the West so that I could be part of its glamour.  I wished my tongue was a bit softer and my hair a bit straighter. I despised my culture and called it savagery and demonic. In perspective now, I wish I knew that the land that nurtured me was so rich and full of possibility.  I envied what I saw on TV and thought only if I was born on the other side. An opportunity presented itself to migrate to the West and to finally live my dream, but to my surprise I was shocked by what I found out.  I visited a country where an Afrikan Black man was not a common sight and this visit changed my life forever.  

The inhabitants of that country marveled at my melanin.  They were in awe at the perfect architecture of my curvaceous body.  They wept at the touch of my hair – they couldn’t figure out what texture it was, silky, yet woolly with a touch of satin.  They stared at the mastery in the craft of an Afrikan.

They taught me a lot about myself and where I come from.  This unique craft can only resemble where it comes from right? Afrika was my home and I had to leave it to see what an amazing and unique continent it was, how glorious this Afrikan is. No longer will I be ashamed to say boldly that I am an Afrikan daughter. Born from the soil of Azania.

Afrika, your radiated luminance is full of flavour. Your ability to house over 2000 languages creates music into the atmosphere. A continent so gifted with culture, your soil is one of the richest.  You are a home to some of the greatest wonders of the earth – from the great pyramids of Giza, to the Ngorongoro Conservation area climbing high to Mt Kilimanjaro and splashing at the Waves of stolen by Victoria right down to safety of the Cradle of Humankind.

Unfortunately, Afrika, your identity was stripped off. You were made an island of the west within yourself.  Your children have to search and find you and put you back on the map as yourself

How I long for the day when Afrikans pause and decide to reclaim Afrika’s identity.  To search and discover who we really are.  No longer should you say “I am having a bad hair day” when you are wearing your natural hair, instead, you should embrace and discover your complexion and hair texture.

Being Afrikan means being able to realise the power within, that we are sons and daughters of the richest soil in the world.  It is to understand that we are smart and intelligent and we have inventors on our soil.  It is to understand that Maths and Science is not separate from creativity and it is not a foreign commodity.  It is to undo the status quo of “if you want to hide something from an Afrikan, put it in a book”; it is to show how much Afrikan literature exists on this rich soil.  It is to know that we are the inventors of Afrikan art.  Our forefathers painted, choreographed, acted and directed before they were “so called” taught.  It is to celebrate those who are doing exceptionally world-changing feats on this continent.  It is to know that we do not compete with any other continent or deem ourselves better but we do however, feel very comfortable and content on our own soil.

Let me imagine an Afrika founded on Love, Unity and Vibrancy.  So I shout it from the mountain hill: being an Afrikan is knowing that we are the liberators of our own minds.  We are the heroes of our own stories, that our past did not determine our destiny but rather it prepared and strengthened us for greatness.

Being an Afrikan is one who knows where they come from. An Afrikan is one who has to water their true roots to give fruition to a true identity, an identity that is not clouded by weeds, but rather embraced and hugged by the sunshine.